Shelving Assumptions
A bit of wisdom gleaned from Arty
Now there’s a thought . . .
It's easy in our culture to yield to the noise on the surface of everything without taking the time to really listen and understand who people are and what they are saying. Sometimes we size up a person or a situation based on only what we see— how they dress, what they drive, where they live — and this gives us an incomplete picture. What would happen if we look closer? What would we discover?
Even dogs don’t fit into the small boxes we create in our minds. Read on to find out how Arty does not fit the mold of a Labrador - Poodle mix.
TWO water dog breeds
Mr. Smarty Arty is a mini-labradoodle. That means he is part Labrador and part Poodle. If you read about these two breeds, you’ll read statements like “Born to swim!” “Loves water play!” “Can’t keep him out of the water!” One would think that Arty would love water too, right?
WRONG!
As you see above, his preference initially was to go the opposite direction of the lake. He was game enough to give it a try, first his front paws, then even allowed the water to touch his hind paws. “OK, I’m done! Let me go after that sprinkler instead!” It’s not that he doesn’t like water, he prefers playing in sprinklers and hoses. He’s happy, doesn’t get stressed, cools off and enjoys water in his own way.
Sometimes it’s necessary to make assumptions, like when encountering a skunk crossing your path. It’s a good assumption that avoiding it is the best thing to do! More often though, assumptions are a shortcut that prevent real understanding. It’s easy to create a box for someone based on their job, their car, or their clothes, age, ethnicity, religion, or past, but that box is always too small. Just as Arty the Mini-Labradoodle defied the stereotype of his breeds by preferring a sprinkler over swimming, people invariably defy the narrow assumptions we make about them.
As you look at the photos with only his paws wet, you may think Arty is a wimp, a chicken, a less-than-Labrador quality dog because he’s afraid of a “little water lapping at his feet”. What you don’t see is the willingness and courage he showed getting closer to that HUGE lake and trying it out. You don’t see the trust he had in me not to bully him into swimming, or the relief on his cute little face when I said “Good boy! Let’s go!” Turns out Arty really isn’t into large, scary bodies of water. Sprinklers and hoses are more his style.
Sweet face of a sprinkler lover!
There’s wisdom to be gleaned from this waterfront experience with Arty. Being considerate of how Arty learns, and letting go of my initial assumptions (he “should” love swimming!), I learned Arty’s choice of water play was NOT swimming. He prefers a sprinkler or a hose, regardless of his breed expectations. What does this have to do with people and assumptions? We can learn a lot about a person, even in jobs that are often overlooked, if we shelve assumptions and are curious.
David is our trash collector. People have assumptions about the person behind the wheel of a garbage truck. In fact, some folks are surprised I know his name. Why would I not know his name? He comes weekly like clockwork, responds to texts in a most timely manner (especially when there’s a good joke about trash), does an amazing job of hauling off our trash, and obviously enjoys his job! Just like Arty might be seen as a “less-than-Labrador quality dog”, David may be seen as “less-than” … someone who maybe can’t do anything but “drive a garbage truck”. Someone who is uneducated or lacks skill to do anything else. Someone who wants an easy job with no danger and is doing this as a last resort. Someone who isn’t good with people.
Each one of those assumptions is WRONG.
David is educated, smart, kind, has a great sense of humor, and provides well for his family. He’s a former US Marine, so throw out the assumption that he’s afraid of work and cannot handle danger. He’s an entrepreneur and owns his own business, so throw out the assumption he isn’t good with people and doesn’t have brain power. We’ve known him now over 6 years and he is a gem. He helps people whenever he can, he loves pineapple, and given that he received Citizen of the Year in our local town, we are not the only ones who think highly of him!
Trash collectors are not the only ones in our society who would benefit from fewer assumptions. Everyone has a reason for doing their job, and there is room and need for all of them. Whether mail carriers, janitors, car wash attendants, or employees holding a sign along the road trying to bring customers to a business. Each one of us have a name, a story, and a purpose for doing what we are doing. And what a person does is not who they are; their character is what is important, not their outward characteristics.
Just like Arty, it’s about giving people space to be themselves, to find their own joy and purpose, and be seen for who they truly are. Turns out shelving your assumptions can lead to a lot of joy!
